Den Beste always seems to be ahead of the curve in his political analysis, which is why I find this commentary particularly noteworthy. Apparently, Germany, France, Belgium and Luxembourg are gunning for an EU-controlled military force independent of NATO. They’ve already decided to create a military command. The problem, Den Beste notes, is that there is little to command, as none of these countries have a substantial military. For various economic reasons, a buildup of forces seems unlikely. So, what shall be done? Den Beste writes:

But never fear! Paris is on the case, and has a solution. Europe needs an independent military which is capable of “counterbalancing” the US, but doesn’t want to pay for it. Europe needs a nation which actually has a force large enough to be credible, which can become a partner in Europe’s defense so as to protect Europe from American aggression. (Which is to say, Europe needs a new free ride.)

In short, Europe needs Russia to come in to Western Europe and save it from America.

Which is why French defense minister Michèle Alliot-Marie is in Moscow right now, trying to talk up the idea. Russia can supply the troops, France can supply the commanders and the wisdom. Western Europe will finally be liberated from oppressive and cruel American military occupation through the agency of the friendly and solicitous Russian Army.

I do rather wonder just how this idea is going to play in places like Prague and Warsaw and Bucharest, who have a somewhat different opinion of the Russians than the French evidently have.

Indeed.

This delightful news tidbit just arrived in my inbox.

Date: Mon, 28 Apr 2003 22:37:15 -0600 (MDT)

From: Vital Student E-memo

Subject: Crime Alert

TO: All Boulder Campus Students

FROM: CU Police

SENDER: [email protected]

DATE: 04/28/03

SUBJECT: Crime Alert

Dear Students:

We are writing to provide an update on investigations into recent assaults in Boulder and to ask your help if you have any related information. The University of Colorado Police and the Boulder Police are investigating three recent assaults upon women which occurred recently in Boulder.

On early Sunday morning, April 20, 2003, at about 1:30 a.m., a woman was sexually assaulted north of Norlin Library on the Boulder campus. In that incident, two males accosted the victim. One male sexually assaulted the woman while the other stood by as a lookout.

The suspects were described as being white college-age males. The male who acted as a lookout has brown hair. The male who assaulted the victim has red hair. A composite drawing of the male who sexually assaulted the victim is available at the UCPD web site, www.Colorado.edu/police.

On Saturday morning, April 26, 2003, at about 3:00 a.m., a woman was attacked by two unknown assailants on the Boulder Creek bike path near Boulder High School. Witnesses in the area heard the victim scream, and came to her aid. The witnesses chased the two suspects, but were unable to catch them.

The suspects were described as being white males, both about 5 feet, 6 inches tall. One might have been wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt. Baseball caps were found at the scene which may belong to the suspects. One cap was a blue and orange Miami Dolphins cap and the other was black with the letter -A- on it. Photographs of the hats and additional information is available at the Boulder Police website: www.ci.boulder.co.us/comm/pressrelease/2003/0428.html.

On Sunday morning about 2:00 a.m., a woman reported that she was physically assaulted by a lone male in the Hill area. The attack occurred in the west alley of the 1100 block of 13th Street, behind the Sink. The suspect was described as a white male in his early twenties, and was -short and skinny.- He was wearing a black shirt with an unknown logo on it, and khaki pants.

We encourage all citizens, including our students, to exercise safety precautions that can help prevent an attack. These include using free escorts available by NightRide/NightWalk which can be reached by calling (303) 492-SAFE, walk with friends at night time, carry a safety whistle, and be aware of surroundings. A map of emergency telephones on campus is available at the UCPD website, www.colorado.edu/police/safety/et.html. Safety whistles and copies of UCPD’s Safety Information and Resource Guide are available without cost at UCPD, 1050 Regent Drive.

They want me to carry of safety whistle! A safety whistle! I’ll be sure to blow it loudly while waving the “UCPD’s Safety Information and Resource Guide” in any attacker’s face.

Christ. I want my Ruger to protect myself from rapists on campus, not a god-damned useless fucking safety whistle. But the university forbids students with concealed carry permits from carrying on campus, even though state law permits it. So let’s just say it outright: The Administration of the University of Colorado at Boulder is objectively pro-rape.

Wow, I’m glad I got this pressing issue cleared up: “A Federal Aviation Administration spokesman says there’s no specific prohibition against flying naked.” Thanks to Dave Barry for telling me, as usual, more than I needed to know.

Lileks had some interesting comments on this ecological footprint quiz. It purports to tell you, based upon a few simple questions, how many planets would be needed if everyone lived like you. (I needed 10.1 planets. I was hoping for a higher score, but 10.1 is pretty good, I suppose.) As Lileks discovered, your score heavily depends upon where you live. (Apparently, people in Bangladesh are just so much more ecologically pure than we are.) In any case, the quiz is just so wrong in all the usual many doom-and-gloom, ecological-nightmare-just-around-the-corner ways. And it’s Kantian moral premise is pretty, um, interesting too.

Last night, I broke my office chair. Really. I must have stressed out the metal around one of the casters repeatedly leaning over to pick up papers that failed to properly insert themselves into the trash can. The chair just couldn’t take the stress anymore. It died a quiet, slightly lopsided, immobile death.

I had actually been meaning to replace the chair for some time. It was an el cheapo kneeling chair that Paul had bought (and later discarded in favor of his Herman Miller chair) before we were married. The chair helped keep my carpal tunnel problems to a minimum, which tend to flare up if I cannot sit close to my desk or if forced to use The Contraption of Terrible Wrist Evil otherwise known the keyboard tray. I was planning on replacing the (now-broken) chair because it was fairly harsh on my shins due to pathetic padding. However, I use the term “planning” here rather loosely. If my chair hadn’t broken, I might not have gotten around to replacing it for another few years. Generally speaking, I’m about as efficient in running such optional errands as a Soviet-era bureaucrat.

So today, I bought my new chair. (Yes, it took all of about 10 minutes.) It’s another kneeling chair, but a fancy one with big Tempur-pedic foam cushions. A big step up for me, office-chair-wise! Unfortunately, it was way, way, way to tall for my desk, even at its shortest.

I considered raising the height of the desk, but gave up after mangling a can of kitty food during the “how high?” test phase. Paul and I examined, poked, and prodded the chair, considering the various methods of lowering the height. Finally, I made an executive decision: I would carefully drill two additional large holes on the bottom-back bar to lower the seat. It took a while, but the holes were drilled and the chair was reassembled.

So I am now basking in the glory of my new chair. Well, at least my shins are happy.