Twelve Compelling Reasons To Denounce Me

 Posted by on 27 January 2012 at 2:00 pm  Funny, WTFuffles
Jan 272012

Since I blogged my serious comments on the recent WTFuffle on Wednesday, I now feel at liberty to post these twelve compelling reasons to unfriend and denounce me:

(1) During the holidays, I happily sing Christmas carols glorifying Jesus.

(2) I think that mixed nuts are an abomination. The taste of each kind of nut contaminates the taste of the others.

(3) I’m a narcissist. Sometimes, I post a picture of myself to Facebook after I get a new haircut. That’s inexcusable, I know. Facebook should be about depressing political news only.

(4) I prefer Glock to 1911. Also, 9 mm is wimpy.

(5) I wear turtleneck sweaters. (Apparently, this is controversial! Who knew?!?)

(6) I enjoy skiing and snowboarding about equally. I refuse to pick a side.

(7) I like saying “bijillion” to mean “some huge unspecified number.” That must reveal some kind of corrupt epistemology.

(8) I swear. For particularly frustrating circumstances, I prefer “Fuckity Fuck Fuck.”

(9) I enjoy off-color jokes, including jokes about penipodes. Yes, genitalia is sometimes funny.

(10) I like Ke$ha. She’s crass, I know, but her music is catchy too!

(11) I tend to overuse exclamation points, particularly in e-mail. I edit out as many as I can, I swear! Still, I’ve just got to express my enthusiasm somehow!

(12) Sometimes, I post about what I ate for breakfast. In my defense, it usually involves bacon.

So that’s my list, but I’m sure that other reasons equally if not more weighty can be easily found… and I’d encourage you to post them in the comments.

Just remember to pick a reason and unfriend me before you become contaminated with my evil ways! Don’t be a mixed nut!

P.S. WTFuffe = A kerfuffle with a hefty dose of WTFery.

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