I was highly amused by this recent question and answer from Miss Manners. First, the question:

Dear Miss Manners:

My partner and I have been having a disagreement recently about the etiquette of having sex when staying in other people’s homes. I feel that it is extremely rude and should be avoided at all costs, while she feels that it is expected and normal, particularly if we are staying with friends/family for more than a couple of nights.

I asked my sister and her husband what their views are, and my sister informed me that they plan to have regular sex when they stay with us in our new home. She also informed me that other visitors would expect to do the same.

As our new home has my first-ever guest bedroom, which up until now I had been looking forward to having occupied by friends and family, I would be grateful if you would help clarify whether guests should have sex in guest bedrooms, and if this is conditional upon the relationship and length of stay.

Wow. Just ponder that for a moment… The man is so disturbed by the thought of his guests engaged in sexual acts with a spouse behind closed doors in his home that he’s now reluctant to invite them to stay. If that’s not prudery, then I’m not sure what is!

Care to guess what Miss Manners’ reply is? (It’s rather amusing.) She writes:

It is conditional on their not making it known to others in the house, before, during or after the event. Your sister has already violated this, but Miss Manners acknowledges that she can claim you provoked her.

That’s right. People with manners do not foist their sex lives on uninterested third parties. They don’t get it on in their friend’s kitchen, just because they happen to feel a bit lusty. However, what people do in private — including in guest bedrooms — is purely their own business. Just don’t break the furniture or wake the neighbors.