Yesterday in Physics someone’s phone went off to the tune of the Justice League. After the professor paused his lecture to acknowledge the phone, the kid answered his phone and replied, “The University is in trouble?! We’re on our way!” The kid stood up, ripped off his t-shirt, revealed the Superman costume underneath, and exclaimed “Super Friends, Assemble!” Scattered across the class of about 150, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Green Lantern, and Flash all stood up and promptly left the class to save Auburn University.
Oh, I so wish that were a true story! It’s from My Life is Average. Here are some more delights from that site:
Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold. MLIA
Today, I was at my work (pharmacy), and a little kid came up to me with a box of tampons. I asked him if he knew what they were for. He replied with “Their for my little brother. The commercial said they would help you swim and ride a bike, and right now, he cant do either”. Easily the highlite of my life. MLIA
Today, we were taking a math test in class. We had to write the date at the top so everyone was asking the teacher what the date was. After about 5 or 6 people asked him my math teacher got fed up and said “The next person that asks me what today’s date is will get 5 points off their test.” One kid raises his hand and goes “What was yesterday’s date?” MLIA.
Today, my mom set her facebook status as: “going to see my oldest daughter, WTF” My other sister and I are debating whether or not to tell her that WTF doesn’t mean With The Family. MLIA
Yesterday when I went into the bathroom stall, written on the wall beside me was,”If you watch jaws backwards its about a huge shark that throws up so many people that they need to open a beach.” I laughed hysterically in the stall. I hope nobody heard. MLIA
Those are funny, but they don’t really follow the classic format, which is something like a surprise anti-twist at the end of the story, when you realize that what sounded bizarre was really quite ordinary. Such as:
Today, the whole world came crashing down on me, so I got some tape and stuck the map back onto the wall. MLIA
Today, I realized that I am unemployed, live with my mother, play video games all day in my basement, and I am still a virgin. It’s alright, I finish 9th grade next week. MLIA
Yes, your life is average, clever child!