I live in Washington, D.C., and we have very long escalators coming out of the Metro. If I grabbed the handrail when I first step onto the escalator and did not let go until I was at the top, my body would be almost prostrate across the steps. As I go higher on the escalator, I have to readjust the hand that is grabbing the rubber handrail. Why can’t the companies that make escalators sync the steps and the handrails so that they go the same speed?

I suspect that the rail is traveling a longer distance than the steps yet moved with the same motor, so it must go faster. Here’s a funny one:

Can men eat the Activia yogurt that is advertised exclusively to the modern woman in khakis? Will it have the same internal regulatory effects on the male system that are promised for the female bowels? If not, why not?

In fact, the yogurt only works for women who wear khakis at least four days per week. (Actually, Activa is gross. They add cornstarch to it, presumably to make it less runny. Personally, I get all kinds of lovely natural bacterial cultures from my raw milk and raw milk yogurt.) And, I can’t resist this gem:

How long can humans live when they are caught on fire? For example, when a car crashes and explodes turns into a gulf of flames, but humans are alive.

Uh, dude, why do you need to know? Just FYI, it’s a bad idea to set yourself or your fellow fraternity brothers on fire. (Via The Agitator.)