Oh, this is damn funny: CheatNeutral:
What is Cheat Offsetting?
When you cheat on your partner you add to the heartbreak, pain and jealousy in the atmosphere.
Cheatneutral offsets your cheating by funding someone else to be faithful and NOT cheat. This neutralises the pain and unhappy emotion and leaves you with a clear conscience.
Can I offset all my cheating?
First you should look at ways of reducing your cheating. Once you’ve done this you can use Cheatneutral to offset the remaining, unavoidable cheating.
Unfortunately, these folks are only opposed to carbon offsetting, not the whole idea of “carbon footprint” reduction. Still, it’s damn funny.