How Not To Get A Job

 Posted by on 12 April 2006 at 8:40 pm  Uncategorized
Apr 122006

These are some real-life examples from Vice Presidents and Personnel Directors of the one hundred largest corporations. Here are a few excerpts:

Most unusual interview behaviour:
Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

Most unusual questions asked by job candidates:

“What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?”

“Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?”

“Would it be a problem if I’m angry most of the time?”

Unusual statements made by candidates:

“I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.”

“I am fascinated by fire.”

“I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.”

Quotes from real resumes (all typos are from the resumes):

“Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”

“I procrastinate, especally when the task is unpleasant.”

“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”

“The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”

(Via Found On The Web.)

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