A few days ago, I read this hysterical article — Should You Send a Lady a Dick Pic? A Guide for Men — which includes gems like the following:

Scenario 1: You’re on OKCupid and you have been exchanging messages with an attractive woman who you strongly believe is interested in seeing your penis. She hasn’t exactly come right out and asked you about your penis, but you’re pretty sure she wants to see it. Like, 60% sure. Also, you’re drunk.

Should you send the lady a dick pic? No.


Scenario 5: You’re so mad at your ex girlfriend and you want to remind her that there’s no possible way her new boyfriend’s penis could measure up to your penis, which is great. Also, you’re drunk. You’re so, so drunk.

Should you send this lady a dick pic? God, seriously? No.

I was thereby inspired to create a handy flowchart for any man considering sending a picture of his man-parts to a lady:

On a more serious note, I recommend this blog post by the always-fabulous Katie Granju: Carlos Danger: I’ve Touched That Hot Stove, And I Can’t Recommend It. Here are the first few paragraphs:

Like most Americans, I love a good comeback story. And those who know me personally will tell you that my Pollyanna-ish willingness to believe people when they swear up and down to me that they’ve changed, that they want to change, is pretty much unlimited. I am a sucker for a sincere sounding apology along with promises to forge ahead with fresh insights and honorable intent.

Yep, I’ve always been the girl who will touch that hot stove more than a few times just because someone – and let’s be honest here and admit that in my life, I’ve most often been taken in by those someones of the he persuasion – seems sincere when he tells me that he’s changed, and when he swears on all that’s holy to me that it’s gonna be different this time.

The scars on my hands from all those burns in years past are good reminders to me of how poorly that strategy always seems to work out. But they also require me to own up to the fact that I definitely have a personal history of allowing the Carlos Dangers of the world to yank my chain again and again and again, with generally disastrous consequences.

In recent years, however, I’ve toughened up a bit, and I believe that I have become better able to spot trouble as it heads toward my table to ask whether it/he can buy me a drink.

Go read the rest!

I’ve been thinking along these same lines lately — particularly about the “red flags” seen in friends that should motivate me to add some distance — if not cut ties completely. In the past, I’ve not been tuned in to those red flags — or I’ve dismissed them as personality differences or aberrations — or I’ve bought into the person’s commitment to change. As a result, I’ve been burned, often quite badly. I will maintain my benevolence, but I won’t be such a sucker in future. As a matter of justice, I will notice those red flags, then keep my distance from people unwilling to meet the basic standards for “sane” and “decent.”

As it happens, I’ll be discussing this very issue on Sunday’s Philosophy in Action Radio… so be sure to tune in!

  • N

    Maybe one of those red flags should be someone claiming to be a serious philosopher posting about dick pics. Yes, I think so. Ok, it is 4:12 pm in NYC. Lets see how long it takes you to delete this.

    • https://philosophyinaction.com/ Diana Hsieh

      Ah well, unlike you, I’ve never been a prude or deficient in a sense of humor… or an anonymous coward. (Let me guess… Premise Checker?) Anyway, instead of deleting this comment, I’ll make fun of it on Facebook instead. You deserve nothing less!

      • N

        Great. Just saw the thread. Glad you are acknowledging that you are not a serious philosopher. That is another step in the right direction, building on your declaration that you are not an Objectivist philosopher several months ago. The next step is to renounce the philosophy completely, which I think you would do if you understood it.

        No, I am not affiliated with Checking Premises. But I am glad they put up their website. And, I am posting anonymously because I don’t want my name to be connected with you in any way. I am sure you can understand why.

        • n

          In other words, you are not to be taken seriously as a philosopher. Good stuff.

        • https://philosophyinaction.com/ Diana Hsieh

          *snort* I’m not surprised to see that you share the superpower of the Premise Peckers to distort plain words — nay, a bit of humor — into something completely absurd and false. As for your justification for staying anonymous… well, that still seems like nothing but cowardice to me.

          Anyway, I’ve had enough of your silly pot-shots. So: *plonk*

          • No

            Well, if they have lied about you, perhaps you should sue them. I would. You have some friends who are lawyers, correct? I know they do. You could finally have it out regarding the circumstances where you think eating human fetuses is “not entirely immoral.”

          • A

            You are an ugly bitch. And it is clear to anyone that has met you two that your husband is gay. That makes you his beard. How do you feel about that?

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