Punctuating Sexual Desire

 Posted by on 15 April 2013 at 2:00 pm  Funny, Language
Apr 152013

Oh, my… the question of how to properly punctuate sexual desire is indeed a tricky (and damn funny) one. Here’s a tidbit:

Technically, you could fix this with a semicolon….

“You smell so good; it’s making me stupid.”

In some ways this is the right thing to do. A semicolon is the official way to show two independent clauses have a close relationship to each other.

Here’s the problem: Semicolons are for wankers. Seriously. You can go your whole life without ever needing to really use a semicolon.

Unless you’re an academic, of course. If you’re an academic, you’ve got to use semicolon to impress other wankers with how much of a wanker you are so you can get your paper published. You know, that paper you wrote detailing your in-depth Marxist interpretation of the last eight lines of John Donne’s “The Flea?” The paper where you used the word “moreover” twenty-seven times in eleven pages?

Most importantly, a semicolon looks really strange in a piece of casual dialogue. People don’t speak using semicolons. Unless they’re wankers.

I love semicolons… but colons are even more fabulously wankerish!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-A-Slivka/582426187 Michael A. Slivka

    I personally favor the ellipsis………leaves em hangin’!

  • William H. Stoddard

    He’s way overthinking it. The way to punctuate that sentence is “You smell so good it’s making me stupid.” (There’s an understood [that] in the middle of the sentence.) It’s all one thought: “[that] it’s making me stupid” is the answer to “just how good is ‘so good’?” There aren’t two distinct thoughts there.

    Ordinarily I would be all for semicolons, but not this time. There’s a time for KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid), in prose as in everything.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sixofone88 Matthew Moore

    I too love using colons. I also have a special place in my heart for the em dash.

  • http://twitter.com/Radian_Angle Tjitze de Boer

    Don’t worry comrade the C revolution periods will be the first against the wall!;

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