Beavis and Butthead Teach Logic

 Posted by on 9 October 2005 at 11:43 am  Funny
Oct 092005

I’ve never much liked Beavis and Butthead, but these examples of fallacies were just damn damn funny. My favorite was equivocation:

(Beavis, under the influence of a music video, is “dancing” on the sofa.)

Butthead: Get down, Beavis!
Beavis: I am getting down!

Via Thrutch.

Weather Story Of The Day

 Posted by on 29 September 2005 at 12:00 pm  Funny
Sep 292005

A tropical storm named “Typhoon Longwang” has formed over the Pacific Ocean. Of course, this is leading to a number of comments along the lines of the following from Rand Simberg:

It could pound Asia pretty hard. It may penetrate deep into the continent. Let’s hope it doesn’t result in another premature evacuation.

OK, so it’s a little juvenile.

There are also a number of funny comments here, such as:

If this thing makes landfall in Puntang, the Weather Channel’s going to have to go Pay Per View.

For those who like graphics, here’s the latest inadvertently suggestive tracking map:

Farting Preachers

 Posted by on 10 September 2005 at 7:07 am  Funny
Sep 102005

This film is so very juvenile… and yet so funny. (Frankly, I’m in need of a good laugh at the expense of the Christians right now!)

Mr Burns on Cheating

 Posted by on 13 August 2005 at 8:15 am  Funny
Aug 132005

Paul sent me this hysterical bit of dialogue from an old episode of The Simpsons:

Burns: Tell me, Simpson. If an opportunity arose for taking a small shortcut, you wouldn’t be adverse to taking it, would you?

Homer: Uhh, not as such.

Burns: Neither would I. I’ve always felt that there’s far too much hysteria these days about so-called cheating.

Homer: Yes, a lot of — hysteria. [worried look]

Burns: Mm-hmm. If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it’s your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well, I say cheating is the gift man gives himself!

Homer: Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat.

Burns: Excellent.


Grad School Barbie

 Posted by on 26 April 2005 at 5:42 pm  Academia, Funny
Apr 262005

Heh: Grad School Barbie. I particularly liked graduate advisor Ken:

GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN: Barbie’s mentor and advisor in her quest for increased education and decreased self esteem. Grad Advisor Ken ™ comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to Barbie as “I need an update on your progress” “I don’t think you’ll be ready to graduate yet” and “This is nowhere near ready for publication.” Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie’s Defense Committee! (Palm Pilot and tenure sold separately.)

I don’t have a graduate advisor yet, so perhaps the department will let me choose Ken. At least he could be on my committee.

A Bit of Humor

 Posted by on 22 April 2005 at 11:10 pm  Funny
Apr 222005

I absolutely loved these two headlines from last week’s Onion: Heaven Less Opulent Than Vatican, Reports Disappointed Pope and Cost of Living Now Outweighs Benefits. Heh.

The Dreams of Men

 Posted by on 15 April 2005 at 9:06 am  Funny
Apr 152005

I learn something new every day! Just a few moments ago, I learned this helpful tidbit in a hysterical collection of inadvertently sexual comic book covers:

“It’s every man’s dream to have a penis so large that he must hire a small boy to carry it.”

Heh. You’ll have to look at the page to find out what prompted that comment!

Academic Joke

 Posted by on 1 February 2005 at 11:00 am  Academia, Funny
Feb 012005

I absolutely loved this joke from Eugene:

A beautiful student goes to a male professor’s office and says, in a breathy voice, “Professor…. I’d do anything to get an A on your exam.”

“Anything?,” the professor asks, conspiratorially.

The student leans closer. “Anything,” she says.

The professor says, “Would you… study?”


Sound Advice from Mom

 Posted by on 29 January 2005 at 9:54 pm  Funny
Jan 292005

My mother, a very wise woman indeed, send this helpful bit of advice to me a few days ago:

I am passing this on to you because it certainly worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice described on a Dr. Phil show, today I have a much more tranquil and serene feeling about life.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.”

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I had started and had not finished. So, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Vodka, the 1/2 gallon of Butter Pecan ice cream, an opened package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Christmas fruitcake, and an open box of decadent chocolates.

You have no idea how good I feel!!!


Porn Star or My Little Pony?

 Posted by on 11 August 2004 at 8:41 pm  Funny
Aug 112004

Yet another important quiz via GeekPress:

She has flowing hair, smooth skin, languid eyes, and she’s completely naked. Are we discussing here a star of one of the approximately four hundred thousand single-, double-, and triple-X-rated films out there, or one of the approximately four hundred thousand different “My Little Ponies” they flooded toy stores with in the Eighties?

That’s what we’re here to find out. Below is a list of names. Each name belongs to either a porn star, or a My Little Pony. Your job is to try and tell the fornicator from the latter. Supine or equine? New Wave Hookers or new-agey hoofers? You make the call.

Go take the quiz: Porn Star or My Little Pony? (I got 1 out of 12 right. Heh.)

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